I Bought A Purse - Holy Cow!

Last night one of the awesome families at church invited me to their home for dinner - homemade pizza!  It was a blast making my own personal pizza - I have never made a pizza from scratch before.  When Laura and I were talking about that I said how Mike and I did the delivery pizza all the time :)  The kids were a hoot - it was fun hearing so much noise.  When it's just me and an old dog the only one doing the talking is me and that gets boring after a while :)  And Butler did check me out when I got home since their dog, Rontu, laid all over me a few times - which I didn't mind at all.  As for the game Bananagrams all I have to say is "EE" is not a word Greg :)  Thanks for a fun night.

Today had a great church service.  Lynn was there along with Ken and Ashley - and her daughter Jennie (I hope I spelled that right) and grand baby Maddox that flew in as a surprise Friday night from Washington, D.C.

I went to a craft show at the Fairgrounds and bought a couple of things with one of them being a purse.  The earth WILL fall off its axis.  If you've known me any length of time you know I do NOT use a purse - the clutch thingie I've been using this past year is the closest I've come to a "purse" because of my Droid cell phone.  I saw the purse and liked it and thought, why not.

I also bought the painted bowl pictured below.  Mike and I have looked at this artist at prior craft shows and admired her work so again I thought why not.  And I thought the colored stones Mike and I bought on our last vacation in Branson would look perfect and beautiful in it.

The last thing I purchased (actually the first thing I purchased) was a little magnet that said, "When someone you love becomes a Memory...that Memory becomes a Treasure".  Considering what today is I thought this saying was appropriate for me.

There was also a "Green" event on the Fairground grounds that I went to and purchased a dusting glove that should replace all dusting cloths, dusting sprays, etc.  When I got it home Butler thought it was a new toy for him to play with and I had to chase him down to get it out of his mouth.

An animal rescue group was at the Green Event and had a deaf Heinz-57 (mutt) there named Eddie that was part German shepherd part Husky.  He was beautiful and I really wanted to take him home but I knew it would have broken Butler's heart to bring another dog into the house and Eddie is a special needs dog being deaf and needs an owner that would be able to work with him - but he was still beautiful.

I bought some chicken breasts at the grocery store Saturday so baked them today.  I had chicken tonight and will again Monday and Tuesday night.  Tonight's dessert.......mini M&M's.  Thanks Laura :)

Yes that's a greyhound painted light switch and greyhound framed saying in the background - what else would you expect in my kitchen right :)

Snow

Well, my gloating on Facebook Friday morning came back to get me - and I knew it would.  I'm not sure how much snow Pella got Thursday afternoon/evening but I know Knoxville had 6 inches by 9:00 pm Thursday night.  When I woke up Friday morning - no snow at all and I had to post on Facebook my joy.  This morning - snow - blick.  But at least it wasn't much.  I pretty much used a "janitor-type" broom to sweep the snow in the driveway and when the pile got big I would shovel it up and over the retaining wall.  I used the shovel for the sidewalk and the large entry part of the driveway by the street.

When I came back inside I realized Butler had done his thing on the living room floor - this was his first "accident" in probably two weeks.  I looked at him and reminded him that I had said I was just going outside to deal with the snow.  But.....I didn't let him outside before I went outside.  Dumb me, I figured he'd be ok.  Lesson learned - whenever Mommy goes outside for a long period of time - Butler better go outside first to be safe.  So while I wasn't happy to clean up his mess I couldn't get too mad at him.

And speaking of Butler.  I was talking to Traci last night and told her that Butler is getting spoiled rotten (ok more spoiled rotten) now that Milly is gone.  Pretty much whatever I eat, Butler gets some too unless I know for a fact that it will be bad for him.  I told her that instead of worrying about me cutting off a finger or two using the Saws-all, she should be more worried about Butler "Jaws" McFall biting off a finger or two when I give him food.  There are sometimes when he comes at me with his mouth open that it's scarier than 3D and instead of calmly holding the food for him to take, I toss it toward his mouth and figure if I miss, he can find it on the floor to eat it.

In Max Lucado's book, "You Can Be Everything God Wants You To Be" he tells you to think about what you like to do and what you are good at.  So yesterday I spent time figuring out my S.T.O.R.Y.:

• Strengths
• Topics
• Optimal Conditions
• Relationships
• Yes!

It was an interesting list - and I'm not done with it yet. "You are the only you that God made......You play no small part because there is no small part to be played.  'All of you together are Christ's body, and each of you is a separate and necessary part of it' (1 Cor. 12:27 NLT).  Separate and necessary.  Unique and essential.  No one else has been given your lines.  God 'shaped each person in turn' (Ps 33:15 NTL).  The Author of the human drama entrusted your part to you alone.  Life your life, or it won't be lived.  You need to be you.  You need you to be you.  You can't be your hero, your parent, or your big brother.  You might imitate their golf swing or hairstyle, but you can't be them.  You can only be you.  All you have to give is what you've been given to give.  Concentrate on who you are and what you have."

Tonight I've been invited to a church families home for homemade pizza!   Mmmmmmm - can't wait.  I've finally started buying single serving pizzas at the grocery story to make once-in-a-while but it's just not the same as having a full-size pizza in front of you :)

Numbers and a Couple of Things I Really Don't Like

I'm watching "Antiques Roadshow ~ Des Moines" right now and first thing I got to see was one of the Twins talk about a piece of furniture.  That was neat.  So far I don't recognize anyone....

If you know me, you know I have just a few (10-15?) Life is Good (LIG) t-shirts and long sleeve tees.  Today I was wearing my Hold Your Horses LIG long sleeve tee and had to see the lady that is working with me about my contacts and mono vision.  She really liked my shirt because she shows horses - she has a couple of photos on her wall.  That got us to talking about horses - she shows Palominos and Paints - then we talked about the World Expo Percheron show that had been at the Iowa State Fairgrounds this past October.  That led me to saying my pat line, "After God created mankind the best thing He created were dogs and then horses" which this gal totally agreed.  And I had noticed her wrist band last time I saw her but didn't ask her about it - today I got a better look at it.  It was from Winter Jam sponsored by 107.1 FM which is a Christian radio station.  I asked her about the wrist band and Winter Jam and she said it was awesome, which led us to talking a little about God and where we both went to church.  You just never know what may open a chance to talk to someone that is a believer or witness to an unbeliever.

I did it again last night - thought I could drink a Coke after 8:00 pm and be ok.  Well I was ok.....until I wanted to go to sleep, so that got my mind to wandering about numbers.  I do not believe in Numerology or whatever it's called, but I do find it interesting how numbers show up in our lives, so here's some of my numbers:

• Dad is one of 3 children
• Mom is one of 2 children
• I am one of 1 child
• I had 0 children (naturally) but have three kids
• Casey (middle kid) has 2 children
• Andy (youngest kid) has 1 child
• Traci (oldest kid) has 0 children
• Mom and Dad were married in 1947 and Mike was born in 1947
• Mike and I were married for 26 years and Mike was 62 years old when he passed
• Our next anniversary (this year) would have been our 27th (April 6th) and Mike passed on the 27th of April
• My first year anniversary as a fulltime employee at Wells Fargo was 4.27.10 and Mike passed on 4.27.10

Now - I really, really, really do not like the word widow or the number 27.  The book I bought yesterday, "Finding Your Way Through Loneliness" is written by Elisabeth Elliot who was not widowed once but twice and she has a chapter titled The Gift of Widowhood.  I'm like hmmmmmmmmmmmm - ok let's see what she has to say.  "He had done more than merely "allow" a thing to "happen" to me.  I do not know any more accurate way of putting it than to say that He had given me something.  He had given me a gift - widowhood.  How can I say such a thing?  He does not whisk us at once to Glory.  We go on living in a fractured world, suffering in one way or another the effects of sin - sometimes our own, sometimes others.  Yet I have come to understand even suffering, through the transforming power of the Cross, as a gift, for this broken world, in our sorrow, He gives us Himself; in our loneliness, He comes to meet us.....Widowhood taught me another kind of loneliness......Social gatherings are still often made up of what we call couples.  As a widow I never enjoyed being a fifth wheel.  I threw things off balance simply by being there, but this was a reality I had to come to terms with.........What I did plan to do was to accept the place God was giving me.  As a widow I was still a member of the same Body.  Christ was it's Head, and God's great purpose had not been altered by my having lost a husband.  It was a part of the plan."  Hmmmmmmmmm......this is a very small excerpt from her book but it's right on.  I still don't like the word widow - I think it's a horrid word - but I think I'm learning to embrace it - I'll have to get back to you on that though.

Now for the number 27.  Last February I spent three of the four weeks in Raleigh helping train the team that took over what my department did in DSM.  A year ago tomorrow I flew in from my last week of training and Mike picked me up at the airport.  Like I had mentioned before, we talked once a day whenever I traveled and during last February he had talked about some back pain that had gotten worse as the month went on.  That Saturday he talked on-and-off about the back pain and then on Sunday it was really bothering him so I took him to his doctor's office (they are open Sunday afternoons) and he was given muscle relaxants.  Instead of helping relieve the pain - it got worse and we ended up in Iowa Methodist's ER that night where Mike's scan found the new tumor next to T10 and the next day (3.1.10) Mike was admitted to Mercy Hospital and our world turned upside down.

This Sunday is the 27th - ten months since Mike passed - a year since his tumor was found.  I know the date was 2.28.10 but a lot of times I think of the day something happened instead of the actual date.  And two months later on April 27th Mike was gone.  I never stopped to think (until last night when I couldn't get to sleep) it was almost two months to the date of finding that tumor that Mike was gone - wow.  So while I won't dwell on this, it does kind of kick you in the gut when you realize it.

Each day is truly a gift - enjoy it!

Gardening

I definitely did not inherit my Grandmother Loper's (Mom's mom) green thumb as can be seen by the lack of plants in my house, and the lack of any landscaping outside - but I've thought about growing some tomatoes this year.  Nothing beats eating a fresh picked home-grown tomato as you stand over your kitchen sink, pouring salt on it - mmmmmmmm.

Mike always had dreams of being a great gardener but it was never meant to be because of the soil in our backyard - but he could grow tomato plants.  The best tomatoes we ever had was from the plant that Butler would pee on whenever he'd go outside - before the plant started to bud.  Then there was the year that Mike planted four tomato plants - remember there were only two humans living in the house and one plant would have been enough.  But no - four plants and Mike Miracle Growed the poop out of them.  People at work got tired of both of us bringing in tomatoes everyday for people to take home that year.  They were the biggest tomato plants I had ever seen.  Mike told me one time that he didn't even get to the tomatoes on the plant in the corner because one time he was out picking tomatoes and something was big enough "back in there" to really move the plant and Mike didn't want to find out what it was - so he only picked tomatoes from the two front plants from then on.

So maybe I'll try one plant in a pot on the back porch and see how it does.  Maybe I'll be daring and do two plants - one for cherry tomatoes!

My main thought is - when do garter snakes start having their babies?????  I'm really hoping the momma snake I chased out of my back porch last summer has moved on to another yard.  The day I ran into three baby garter snakes, in three different places in the yard while mowing just about did me in.  But like I told God, as long as He gave me warning to see the little snakes so I could chase them out of the way of the mower I was ok with that.  I didn't want to accidently run over one - blick.  Dad thinks I should be able to do that without any problems - blick, shudder, blick, shudder, blick, shudder.

While running errands I stopped at the Family Christian bookstore and picked up these books:

• Live To Make A Difference ~ Max Lucado
• Finding Your Way Through Loneliness ~ Elisabeth Elliot
• You Can Be Everything God Wants You To Be ~ Max Lucado (Perfect gift for the graduate :)
• Becoming A Woman Who Listens To God ~ Sharon Jaynes

And I bought TobyMac's latest CD "Tonight".  I chuckled because we talked in our small group the other week about how we liked the old hymns - which I love and we don't sing that often - and then I buy this CD which I'm not sure yet that I love but I really do like some of his songs.  Of course I had to crank the stereo in the car when playing the CD. 

President's Day

Yesterday was a so/so day for me.  Mike would have it as a holiday working for the City of WDM and I would try to take it as a vacation day so we would have the day together.  We rarely went to movies in the movie theater so sometimes on the Sunday night before we'd really spurge and go to a late movie, figuring it wouldn't be too crowded.  So while I should have been motivated to do things yesterday I wasn't really - and being a gloomy, overcast day didn't help either.

A bright spot for me was learning my friend Lynn was released from the hospital less than a week from having her stroke!  All praise and thanks to God for that.

I found out last night that one of my good friends that sent me my Valentine's day roses and bear received her test results for something that she's going through and let's just say the only good news was the the Hepatitis results were negative, so that was sad.  More prayers were sent her way.

One of the couples in my small group - the husband is going through a similar issue Mike went through after his cancer surgery.  Mike had an issue with dizziness, vertigo, "things just not right with his world", etc., pretty much all this friend is going through, except this guy is also dealing with blood pressure issues - Mike didn't have that until he was put on oral chemo.  My heart goes out to that couple seeing what the husband is going through like Mike and what his wife is going through as a spouse that hurts because her husband hurts and can't do anything to help him feel better.  Lots of prayers going to them.

Then another couple in my church, his father was placed in Hospice a little over a week ago.  While my heart goes out to this couple, I really feel for his mother because her spouse is no longer receiving curative care but receiving comfort care.  That's really rough to hear those words and I cannot begin to imagine what it was like for Mike or my friend's father to hear those words and realize what they meant - for them.  I just know how devastated I was to hear those words for Mike.  So again prayers are being sent to my friends and family during this time.

The highlight this afternoon was seeing the sun start to shine - that's always a good sign :)

10 Years, Doesn't Seem Possible

Friday night I saw the original True Grit with The Duke was on tv so thought I'd watch it since I'd never seen it all the way through so if I decide to rent the remake with Jeff Bridges I'd have something to compare it to.  As I wrote on Facebook I hope that was the only movie that Glen Campbell was in - wow.  I liked Kim Darby's character, she showed spunk for back then.  John Wayne was o-k until the end when Kim fell in the snake hole, broke her arm and got bitten by a snake - of course The Duke got to me.  I'm not sure Jeff Bridges will be able to pull that emotion off - but maybe he will.  But let's get serious folks - how many times did they pass around Kim Darby's father's six shooter and NOT check to see if the revolver was loaded - I wanted to reach through the tv screen and check it myself.  But the best scene was watching John Wayne ride that horse (I've always felt sorry for any horse that had to carry John Wayne), with the reins in John's mouth, shooting with both hands, and racking/cocking/whatever that rifle in his right hand - that was way cool.

Saturday my niece Chrissy and sis-in-law Marcia got here around 10:00 and we had a good time catching up on stuff, talking and laughing our heads off.  I wanted to run to the bank to do something and while there two things happened.  The gal that helped me wanted to know if the three of us were sisters which we laughed at and said no.  But since I don't have a sister (or brother) for that little moment it was kind of nice to think someone thought we could have been sisters.  And then there was "that" guy.  Marcia and Chrissy were already sitting down while I was doing something at the counter and then I plopped down next to them.  Marcia asked if I liked Chinese food and I'm like "sure".  This guy behind me kindly interrupts our conversation, I turn to look at this person and am like "wow, he's not bad looking", then looked at the left hand and saw the wedding ring.  Poop.  This guy was new in town, liked Chinese and heard us talking about where we were going for lunch and wondered if it was close - we gave him directions.

Of course the three of us females were giggling about that as we went to sit at the desk of the lady that was helping me at the bank - that's when we were asked if we were sisters.  The three of us are single - but Marcia and I are NOT looking.  Marcia said he was too young for her anyway - I told her the young ones were trainable.  Anyway we got a good chuckle about "that" guy at the bank.

I normally sit with Lynn, her husband Ken and daughter Ashley at church but not today since Lynn is still in the hospital.  Lynn is on the 4th floor - rehab floor - and doing really good.  I haven't visited since Friday, so plan on popping down there tomorrow.  Another friend Lora said I could sit with her crew and I did - on the front row.  I like the front row for lots of things - you are close to see and hear - but wow - that was really close.  I think as Pastor Daggs was preaching he could have jumped into our laps if he would have wanted to.  And as Greg was going over the announcements he mentioned something about "some sporting event" later today, blah, blah, blah.  I wanted to yell "boogity boogity boogity let's go racing boys" but thought that might be a little irreverant................

So - 10 years.  Ten years ago today Mike and I watched our first NASCAR race, the Daytona 500 and really enjoyed it until the end where unfortunately "the big one" took Dale Earnhardt's life.  Today is another first - the start of a NASCAR season without Mike, and like normal, I fell asleep for about 45 minutes of the race.  We were huge Dale Jarrett ~ #88 ~ UPS ~ The big brown truck fans until DJ retired a few years ago and we never could decide on a favorite driver after that.  We'd have lots of drivers we liked and one we really didn't like - Kyle Busch.  But in Kyle's defense he really likes the Iowa Speedway at Newton and who knows, maybe a Sprint Cup race will be on the schedule in the future.

Oh and on a side note - Martina McBride definitely knew how to sing our National Anthem and that's all I'm saying about that.

This year the drivers did this pairing up thing that I'm not sure I liked at all for the Daytona 500 - it looked really weird.  I'm used to a huge pack of cars all together.  And it had a few "big ones" along with having to do a Green/White/Checker at the end.  And I'm sure my southside church friends could have heard me yelling from Turn 3 on for "the kid".  Trevor Bayne who turned 20 yesterday, in only his second Sprint Cup race, won the Daytona 500 driving the #21 Woods Brothers car.  It was awesome.  I've always been partial to the number 21 (my birthdate 9/21) and the Woods Brothers have been an icon in NASCAR forever.  As Trevor was interviewed in the Winner's Circle he talked about praying with the team before the race and something about God - I wanted to hug that kid.

I've gotten my resume back from someone that critiqued it and gave me advice so tomorrow I'll work on it.

Love My Sun Roof!

Yesterday and today I've enjoyed the sun roof in my car!  I remember whenever we'd look at cars I'd say to Mike that I wish I could get a sun roof but when we'd find out the cost of adding one after the fact - we'd look at the salesman and say, "we only wanted one", and get another car without a sun roof.  Well, the car I have now came with one and I love it.  Mike didn't "get" why I wanted a sun roof until one day when the weather had been crappy for a while and we had a gorgeous day I popped it - then he "got" it and loved having it.  I think he looked at me and said something like, "why didn't we get a sun roof before", to which I just looked at him.  Even on some winter days that the sun is out and while it's still cold, but it's warmer than it has been, I'll at least use the tilt option to feel some fresh air flow through the car and feel alive.......

I signed paperwork for my individual health and dental plan this morning.  My insurance lady works at 42nd and Grand and I had a little time to kill so I decided I'd drive through the neighborhood south of Grand and look at the houses.  Houses weren't the only thing that I saw at 10:00 a.m. - check out the photos.

There were five deer in all, and two just walked right across the street behind me.  I had to turn around and go back and get these pictures really quick before the deer headed into the backyard of this home.  I don't think the pictures are too bad from my cell phone with me leaning across the inside of the car taking them through the rolled down passenger window :)  As I drove off I realized I had that goofy grin on my face - the one I get when I see deer - and at 10:00 in the morning!

One of the errands I ran was to the place I got my bifocals.  The gal did some adjusting and I think they sit better on my face.  I honestly thought the left lense might have been a little high and I was seeing too much of the reading portion when I was looking through the regular part of the lense - I was right.  I'm still not sure about that middle distance part for computer work - the word trifocal was mentioned.  Not going there.

Popped down to the hospital to see how Lynn was doing and they are hoping to move her to the Rehabilitation floor today!  She's walking on her own, talking really well and her smile is completely back.  Yesterday when I saw her she only had half a smile.  To me, if you didn't know she had had a stroke Tuesday afternoon - and she wasn't in the hospital in a hospital gown - I don't think you'd know she'd barely had the tiniest of movement capability on her left side as of Tuesday night.  God is good.

My oldest - Traci - chewed me out by email today for my supper last night :)  Ok, ok I'll make sure I nuke a healthy choice-type meal tonight.

Tomorrow?  My niece Chrissy is coming up and we are going to scrapbook for part of the day.

70 Degrees....in February....in Iowa? Yepper

You read that right, it was close or in the 70's and sunny today in Iowa.  The snow is almost all gone on my property (thank the good Lord).  I have entered the muddy season in the backyard but hopefully if it stays sunny for another couple of days that will dry up.  I keep telling Butler to not walk in the mud but he just doesn't get it, so I have to wipe off his muddy paws when he comes in.

And........I believe I've only had to clean up once, maybe twice after him this week when I've left during the day!!!!!  Maybe he enjoys our little talks before I leave when I tell him he's been doing so good, I don't want him to pee on the floor while I'm gone, that I won't be gone long, that I love him and give him a kiss - who knows.

I was out the door very early this morning for my neurologist appointment - follow up, see how I was doing before my health insurance ran out the end of the month.  The doctor thought I was doing really well - and wants to see me in a year. 

My neurologist's office is in Mercy Hospital so I was able to visit my friend Lynn - who invited me to Living Waters Fellowship - to see how she was doing.  Lynn had a stroke Tuesday afternoon and was in ICU as of last night.  Some time during the night Lynn was moved to the 6th floor and while I was there physical therapy had her up and walking.  She was going to see speech and another therapist today and in a couple of days they hoped to get her in rehab on 4th floor.  Ken's (Lynn's husband) update at 6:30 said that Lynn is doing so well she is already on 4th floor!  It's all God.  Say a prayer for Lynn's continued miraculous and speedy recovery, Ken and Lynn's daughter Ashley.

I almost - yes almost - have my federal taxes done!!!!!!!  That's worth a round of the dance of joy all on its own.  I have one question I've asked someone about and once that's answered my federal will be done, then I can get the state done, then I can send them off online.  I know my friend Lori has probably fainted reading this because she knows I always wait until 4/14 or 4/15 for federal and 4/29 or 4/30 for state.

This afternoon I met a friend at Raccoon River Park for a short walk and showed him Mike's bench.  Man it was nice out there.  And evidently I didn't realize Monday when Butler and I were at Mike's bench - but Parks and Rec planted some type of tree by it - that is awesome. 

Between 2:30-3:00 while Ken is staying with Lynn at the hospital and Ashley is going directly to the hospital from school, I am going to their house to let their two dogs out and spend a little time with them.  Well I had a little surprise today when I walked in - they have two dogs and I only saw one - not good.  I looked all through their house, garage and backyard for Mollie (Sheltie) - no Mollie.  I got Ken's cell number from my pastor and found out Mollie was at a neighbor's house - whew.  I spent a little time with Shelbie (Yorkie) and then headed home to Butler.

Evidently a local golf course was open today.  I know where Mike would have wanted to be - but I'm guessing he wouldn't have played because the greens would have been too wet.  When Dillon and I were walking at Raccoon River Park he said something about the ground being too hard and breaking clubs when hitting the balls - I didn't think of that.  I just thought of fairways and greens being all torn up.....

Tomorrow I think I'll be signing papers for my individual health insurance plan and talking some more to my banker about refinancing the house - and not sure what else.

For supper tonight........1/2 price bag of Valentine M&M's but don't tell my Dad......he always wonders what I have for supper :)

Valentine's Day

                        
I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day - I'll be honest I was not looking forward to this day - for a while I dreaded it more than Thanksgiving and Christmas combined.  Why?  This is a holiday for lovers, for those with sweethearts and I don't have mine anymore - and it's my first Valentine's Day without Mike.  While we didn't do much, we always tried to make Valentine's Day special.  Mike would get me flowers if not flowers and a box of chocolates along with a card.  So knowing I wouldn't be getting a Valentine from my sweetie after 27 Valentine's Day was kind of rough.  But I prayed about it and realized it was just a day.  And deep down I kind of hoped something special would happen but in reality I didn't think anything would.  But if you have the right attitude God hears everything and honors it.

At 9:00 a.m. this morning someone was ringing my doorbell like crazy to which I ignored it because I was doing my devotions and still had horrible bed head hair.  But after my devotions I went downstairs to see if something had been left on the door (like a meter reading card or something).  Something had been left - something that made me crazy happy tears - something was wrapped up from Boesen's by my front door on the porch.

Three very special friends were thinking of me today and sent this to me.  I cried tears of joy that God gave me these friends to do this for me - it really made my day!

While I miss Mike each day - I see his awesome sketch each time I walk up and down the stairs from our bedroom - I do not grieve or mourn for Mike.  I miss his laugh, his touch, his hugs, so much but I rejoice that he is no longer in pain and suffering.  I wish we would have had more time together, but he's in Heaven getting the lay of the land so when I see him again, I'll already have my personal guide.

The temp was in the 40's so I thought it would be ok to take Butler out to Mike's bench to "show it" to him.  So I got him all dressed in his grey hoodie and off we went.  Poor dog, even though Mike's bench isn't that far from the parking lot - I'm sure to Butler who hasn't been on a walk in a l-o-n-g time it must have felt like a marathon to him to get to the bench - and then we had to walk back to the car too :)  It was a little breezy at the bench so I sat for a few minutes and then back to the car and home we went but I was glad to spend a couple of minutes with my two guys at Mike's bench.

The rest of the day I spent trying to figure out the color of my parachute (a practical manual for job-hunters and career-changers) and then tonight went to Hope at Work at one of the churches in West Des Moines.  Let me just say if you live in the DSM metro area and are out of work, or not satisified with your current position and are a believer - you HAVE to check out this support group!

It's anchor verse is Philippians 4:6, 7
   Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving; let your requests be made known to God;
   And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts, and minds through Christ Jesus.

We went around the group to introduce ourselves (the newbies aka me and two other people), gave a brief summary of why we were there, what our passions were, etc., with the "oldies" giving an update on how their week had gone.  I shared I had a heart for helping people, children especially, and animals.  One of the ladies is volunteering to help with premature babies by rocking them.  After she shared how her week had gone, she leaned over to me and said she'd like my name and number.  I'm thinking, "I said children, not premies".  If you know me, you know I know next to nothing about babies - let alone premies - but I'm guessing I can spend some time holding and rocking them without breaking them.  We'll see.

Babies ~ Singles Group ~ Funny Vacation Story

Yesterday started bright and early because I was going to watch one of the church basketball games playing at a church in Ankeny.  I got around early enough to pop in to Home Depot and Target before getting to the church at 9:30 to watch Aiden and Justus.  Aiden is old enough to do his own thing with periodic checking to make sure he was till within sight.  Justus needs to be held and he was a riot once he spied my wallet, figured out how to open it and take most everything out of it and chew on it. 

I went to my first Singles of Faith event for fun, food and fellowship for singles over 40.  It was an eclectic group of folks.  My friend that invited me said we were the "youngsters" of the group and it made me laugh.  After the potluck some of us had a couple of fun rounds of the game Sequence - then I thought I should head home to see how Butler was doing.

As for Butler - he has been Speedo free for a few days.  Each time before I leave I sit down, call him over, take his head in my hands, turn his face toward me and talk to him about how he's been good while I've been gone, I want him to continue to be a good boy for me and that I love him.  And except for one time I have come home to no pee on the floor!  Butler gets showered with "good boys" and hugs when that happens.

Tomorrow I'm going to check out "What Color My Parachute" is, work on more health insurance quotes, do Lending Tree for mortgage quotes since I was disappointed with my refinance quote from my banker and then at 6:30 p.m. go to a Hope at Work weekly meeting at a church in WDM for those seeking employment and networking.

So....a funny vacation story that I've wanted to share.  One year in Branson Mike and I went to Tall Timber for a lumberjack show and dinner and it was awesome.  There was a chance for participation for men and Mike volunteered for our side of the audience.  He was to toss an ax at a bull's eye.  His first toss went well over the mark into the woods and one of the lumber jacks had to hike into the woods to find the ax.  The M.C. made the comment that Mike was a strong fellow.  The second toss was very good and landed on the target to beat the guy on the other side's team.

Then it was time for female audience participation.  On our side I was the only female under 65-70 years old so it was a no brainer who the female would be participating for our side.  I didn't volunteer right away being hopeful I wouldn't have to.  I was eating my dessert, the M.C. was looking at me, I was looking at him, he was looking at me, I was looking at him (and still eating), finally I raised my hand.  The first thing we had to do was put on a life preserver.  Long story short, we didn't have to do anything with water but instead bend over and roll a log so far along the ground across a finish line.  The first one of us that pushed our log across the finish line won.  Well, since I'm so competitive I got myself good and ready and when the M.C. said "go", somehow I got my center of gravity way off and fell face first onto the log - smack face first.  My only thought was, "get up and push that log, you have to make up time for falling" so push I did.  I didn't win and my knees were all scrapped up (I was wearing shorts) but Mike filled me in on what happened after I hit the log with my face.

The M.C. about died and no one in the audience was watching the other gal that won the contest - I think they were waiting for blood to flow from my face.  When I got up to push the log the elderly lady on Mike's other side said to him, "She's quite a trooper" to which Mike heartily agreed.  Now the funny part was - the life saver which was a "funny prop" was a real life saver - or a face saver because when I hit the log face first - the life saver was between me and the log to save my face, mouth and teeth.

Butler's Story and His Valentine

Since I blog so much about Butler I thought I'd share his story about how he came to be a McFall.  Some of you know about the German shepherd mix (Lucy) we had before the greys.  I told Mike that when Lucy passed I wanted to adopt a retired racer.  One day Mike found out the Animal Rescue League of Iowa had a greyhound and off we went - and there was Butler.  I wasn't 100% sure on him and wanted to look at all the dogs before making a decision but by the time we made our way back to Butler's kennel I knew Butler was the one - and some other lady was looking interested at my dog - and I was not happy.  She finally walked away from Butler and I zoomed in on him like you wouldn't believe.

It was the first day of Tulip Time 2001 and we thought we'd head down to Pella to see my folks and show them Butler.  Well we happened to pass them on Highway 163 as they were heading back to Pella from being in Des Moines that day.  I told Mike to get next to my folks and he honked and I waved like crazy to get their attention - nothing doing.  Dad ignored us like we were the plague.  I told Mike to get in front of them, slow down and I would turn around and wave to them.  Mom and Dad finally realized who was in front of them.  We pulled off north of Prairie City, Mom and Dad followed us and we showed them Butler -then we got back in our cars and headed to Pella for Tulip Time.

Because of Butler we found and became active with the local greyhound rescue group, found out Butler is not a retired racer but a mix of greyhound and probably lab, and fostered Milly - who became Butler's sister.  Butler is very vocal - or at least he was in his younger days - which is very unusual for a grey.  You could always tell when he was "chewing us out" for being gone too long or letting us know he was not happy with us for muzzling Milly when she first came to live with us and she had a chewing issue.

A few years ago Butler started to make his "demon noise" we called it.  The first time he did it was in the dead of night, woke both of us out of a sound sleep and scared the crap out of us.  I cannot begin to imitate it, but Butler's trying to clear his throat (evidently) and it comes from way down deep inside ending with a hacking noise.  The next morning after hearing the demon noise for the first time Mike and I laughed because we said how it scared both of us, neither one of us wanted to open our eyes because we just KNEW something scary would be staring back at us about 1/2" from our nose and if we kept our eyes closed - whatever was out there might take the other one of us.  From then on whenever Butler would make that noise we'd just laugh and laugh.

Butler has always been more my dog than Mike's following me everywhere I go.  If I would be gone for the evening Butler would stay downstairs if Mike would go upstairs, until I got home, then Butler would follow me upstairs.  If I had to travel for work Butler wouldn't go upstairs until Mike was ready to go to bed at night and Mike would have to call Butler to come upstairs to sleep in our bedroom.  I remember when I had my Lasix enhancement surgery and was sleeping in the back bedroom on the main floor of the house - once Butler slipped by when someone opened the bedroom door to check on me.  Butler jumped onto the bed and literally laid down on top of me with his face next to my face wanting to be near me.

But then March and April of 2006, Butler showed how much he cared for Mike by constantly being at Mike's side when he was home recovering from his kidney cancer surgery.  Mike said he got more comfort from "that old dog" being next to him during the day when I was at work.  When Mike was home before he passed, Butler moved closer to Mike's side and pretty much didn't leave it until Mike died on 4/27.

Whenever I haven't felt good (migraine or sick) Butler has laid next to me on the bed and he has been a constant comfort since Mike has been gone.  He's definitely slowed down, gotten skinny and doesn't hear like he used to but he can still jump on the bed to lay next to me and put his head on my lap.  Many times he either sticks his bony "knee" into my groin or heavily flops his head onto my kidney - but that's fine with me.  I know there have been trials with the Speedo and baby gate but I don't get mad at him - I know he misses Milly and his life or routine has changed since she was put down.

July 2009, Butler should have died in our basement after we had had him at Gray's Lake.  He had gotten overly excited and over heated - it was horrible watching him suffer.  He was foaming at the mouth, couldn't catch his breath, shaking, etc.  We called our vet and they recommended taking him to the emergency animal hospital.  Mike and I prayed for Butler and I told God He either needed to take Butler right then so he wouldn't suffer any more, or if God decided it wasn't Butler's time that Butler would be around for a while.  God knew the future and knew I'd need Butler now so that's why Butler's still here.  I don't know how long I'll have this old turd of a dog but I treasure every minute he's here and today when I "fluffed" Butler's pillows and blankie I found a Valentine he'd made just for me.

Yes, you can find a sign anywhere - even in a heart-shaped dog turd.  No matter what, you have to admit this is kind of interesting especially with Monday being Valentine's Day.  God works in mysterious ways and has a sense of humor.  And as Traci said as I texted her this photo, "there's nothing nicer than a homemade gift!"

Butler on his pillow by my side of the bed wrapped up in his blankie.

 Enjoying a nice sunny afternoon in the backyard.  Mike and I always said we hoped Butler would just fall over when it was his time, as he was lippity lopping in the backyard.  We also said Butler looked like Phil Jackson trying to get everything going when Butler would start to run toward the back door - like Phil getting up off a chair (the bench) to walk somewhere when coaching a basketball game.

 Making sure the pillows are the way Butler wants them after the bed has been made.

Too cute for words!

Loving the Sunshine this Week!

Evidently I know how to bring conversations to a screeching halt as I found out last night in my small group Bible Study.  Someone was talking about "Little House on the Prairie" the tv show.  Then someone started talking about Michael Landon.  Then I said, "say it's not so Little Joe" and that's when I looked up and most eyes were on me, conversations stopped and you could have heard a pin drop.  So I said something like, "once again I've shown my age haven't I?  Little Joe, Hoss, Bonanza?"  :)  My pastor - to try to help - said, "I know the theme song to Bonanza (which he started to dum da da dum da da da DA) and then said it was also a restaurant.  I just shook my head.

And Monday or Tuesday night I thought I would try to stream a radio station for the first time ever with my laptop while I did something else.  I think I gave my elderly laptop a heart attack because I was not able to do anything else while the song played.  So no streaming for me........

Saturday night I'm doing something huge - or HU-AGE as Mike and I used to say. I'm going to a singles gathering....Singles of Faith.  It's for single adults 40+.  They meet one Saturday a month at a church on the east side - one of the ladies at Living Waters invited me to it.  It's a Valentine's potluck dinner (I'll try to make something) and we're to bring a table game.

I saw my grief counselor today and had a very good visit but I don't know which is worse - her or my pastor.  I go to them for help and what do they both do - give me homework.  I'm just giving them a hard time - I appreciate the home work.  But it does kind of make me chuckle when they say something like, "and here's your homework".

I have no idea when or where I bought these two books, but I dug into them yesterday and thought I'd share some verses - maybe they will be uplifting to someone reading my blog.  The books are;  "God's Answers for Your Life" and "God's Promises for Your Every Need".  Some of the verses are "oldies but goodies" that most believers know off the top of their head.

The Power of God's Word:
The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.  Isaiah 40:8

Building Your Faith:
For with God nothing will be impossible.  Luke 1:37

Surviving Financial Problems:
And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19

Jesus is Your Security:
But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one.  II Thessalonians 3:3

If You are Worried:
Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.  I Peter 5:7

If You are Experiencing Fear or Depression:
The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.  What can man do to me.  Psalms 118:6

If You Need Confidence:
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Phillipians 4:13

When Troubles Hit Your Life:
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.  Isaiah 43:2

If You Have a Physical Sickness:
"For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds," says the Lord.  Jeremiah 30:17a

You do not Understand God's Ways:
Call unto Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.  Jeremiah 33:3

Finding God's Will:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.  Proverbs 3:5, 6

Sunny Day

It hit me last night after I logged off that I might need to put some minds at ease after Butler tried to be a magician by pulling the tablecloth off the kitchen table, knocking Mike's remains on the floor in his heart-shaped container and I laughed.  It wasn't like in the movies where the heart-shaped container hit the floor, broke open and Mike would have scattered all over the floor.  What's left of his remains are contained is a sealed, plastic bag in the heart-shaped container.  And family that has been around knows that if we eat at the kitchen table, we're "eating with Mike" so that's why I was able to chuckle about Butler knocking Daddy on the floor.

Tonight when I go to my small group Bible study I'm going to try the talking to Butler routine again where I take his face in my hands and tell him I expect him to be a good boy while I'm gone and I won't put his Speedo on him......  Right now he's laying on his pillow on the floor by the bed, sleeping like an angle and gassing me almost out of the bedroom.  Wowie.

Each day I am going to have a list of things to work on and I got through most of my list today.  One of the items was last year's taxes - blick.  I pulled out my folder with doctor/hospital/prescription information and my folder of our charitable donations and placed them on my newly cleared off table in the office/craft room - so I'm good to say I "worked" on taxes (a little) today.  I'm going to be honest - I HATE doing taxes - but I will try to pull that information together so I can get a good start on them by the weekend.

When I looked in the mirror this morning I was thrilled to find I had a "third eye" smack in the middle of my forehead aka a pimple.  While I don't like having little blemishes every now and then, when they are on my cheek or chin I can do a fairly good job of hiding them with concealer but it never fails when they are on my forehead they are IN THE MIDDLE of my forehead and red for all the world to see.  Lovely.

Spent the day revamping my resume, getting into scripture, going over health insurance quotes and more.  And because I'm trying to cut back on my Coke consumption because I don't need to drink it and also help cut down on grocery costs - I decided to add some tea to my water last night.  While it was ok while I drank it - it kept me up some of last night.  So I took a little nap this afternoon too :)

I've been trying to figure out which picture I wanted on my desktop on the laptop - have been switching them out for a few days and finally decided on this one.

It's still been hard to look at actual pictures of Mike - but I do spend a lot of time talking to his sketch.  There were some tears when I loaded this Monday night as my desktop but I'm doing ok with it now.  Just love looking into those gorgeous brown eyes.  And check out who has his head on Daddy :)

A New Adventure

I know I have shared with some - possibly on this blog - that I wanted to be sure I was doing what God wanted me to do with my life - careerwise.  Well, I have taken the first BIG step toward this - Monday I resigned from Wells Fargo effective Monday.  There has been a lot that has gone on this past year and while I am very thankful for the job I had with Wells Fargo, it's time for me to move on - and take a little time for myself to do some soul searching.  You are along for the ride to see where this adventure takes me and how God leads me to my final destination.

I need to do some more serious soul searching and spending time in prayer to come up with the field of work I want to be in - the desires of my heart - to honor God and the talents He's given me.  I know I have always had a heart for people - children especially - and animals - so we'll see.

A week or so ago I received a flyer in the mail from Medi-Share, a Christian health sharing organization, and started thinking about wanting to carry my own "insurance" so that health insurance never would be an issue.  Never even thinking that a few days later I wouldn't have health insurance.  While I truly like what I see with these health sharing organizations, unfortunately I'm not sure they will meet my needs, so I may have to purchase a regular single insurance policy.  Stay tuned.

I love my pastor and his wife - they had time to meet with me this morning at 9:00 a.m. to pastor me, help me learn to have a better daily walk with God, to seek His will and cry.  I told them next time I'd bring my own Kleenex :)  But while meeting with them I had an "aha" moment or as I shared with them later today in an email God "whacked me upside the head" to realize something that was very important.  Message received :)

Two things I've said different times since Mike passed is that I'm almost 50 and I'm the only one that's here to take care of myself from a financial standpoint.  Well......I am almost 50 and can't do anything to change that and that's ok......but I'm not the only one that's here to take care of me - that's God's job and that's what He wants to do as my heavenly father, I need to have the faith to let Him.

So - all prayers, positive thoughts, well wishes, and of course hugs will be appreciated as we all start this journey.

BUTLER UPDATE:  you knew I couldn't blog without a Butler update :)  I came home from my errands this morning and all was good.  Speedo wet, everything covered that should be covered and nothing messed with in the eating area.  So when I had to go out this afternoon I sat down in a chair, took Butler by the face and talked to him telling him I was going to trust him and not put a Speedo on him, etc.  I came home and no pee on the floor - yes.  Then I turned to look in the eating area and he had pulled almost everything off the kitchen table which included what was left of Mike in his heart-shaped container along with the tablecloth.  I just looked at him, told Butler he had knocked Daddy onto the floor and laughed.

Jersey Sunday

I can finally mark one thing off my To Do List - cleaning, organizing and decluttering my home office/craft room.  Basically I wanted to make sure my craft table was useable on 2/19 when my niece Chrissy and I may do some scrapbooking.  So from 4-8 pm yesterday I worked on that room a lot more than I had planned - but that was good.  There's still more to do but it's ok for now. 

One thing I worked on was the huge rubber bin of things from Mike's illness/hospitalizations (cards, balloons, etc.) and then his Celebration Service, sympathy cards, etc.  I'm working on organizing things into smaller boxes and decorating them with hearts as I go.  There were a few tears last night but not as many as I had thought there would be. 

Today was Jersey Sunday at church - any college or professional football jerseys were allowed to be worn since it was Superbowl Sunday.  Well I tried my hardest to come up with something for the Steelers but no joy.  So........I stretched Jersey Sunday to include professional basketball jerseys - in particular Chicago Bulls jerseys. 

Now my pastor and I agree that our favorite Bull was Pippen and I have a red 33 jersey.  But I'll admit when Rodman became a Bull, he became my favorite Bull and I have a black 91 Rodman jersey.  Did I dare wear a Rodman jersey to church?!  It was black and the Steelers are black and gold so I thought I would.  The worst that could happen would be told to go home, right (I knew they wouldn't do that).

So who do I walk in behind to church this morning but Greg - our elder that asked me to help with our children's ministry - who by the way was wearing his Baltimore Colts jersey.  I kiddingly said something about maybe being kicked out of church for my jersey and then it hit me - I was wearing Rodman - wild man of the NBA - but the greatest defensive player EVER in the NBA.  Greg's like "well maybe you won't be able to help with children's ministry" - he was kidding.  I showed him my jersey and he's like, "that's Jordan's number when he did something or other".  I just looked at him and before I could say it was Rodman - someone else yelled, "you're wearing Rodman's jersey, I loved him" so I knew I was ok.

It was fun to see all the different jerseys.  There was even a Dallas Cowboy Novacek (sp) jersey.  Mike and I had actually taught Jay Novacek's nieces (Joyce and Grace) when we went to Ashworth Road Baptist and they were in our 2 and 3 year old Sunday School class.  Mike played softball with Jay's brother, Jim, on the church softball team.  So that was kind of a neat memory.  I think Bears jerseys were the majority including Pastor and Mrs. Daggs.

And Dad - for lunch I used your Arby's free combo meal coupon - thanks.  Then I tackled the snow in the driveway and sidewalk.  There wasn't a whole lot but it was heavy!  Touchdown Steelers!

BTW....two weeks and "Boogity boogity boogity, let's go racing boys"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby Gates ~ Mortgages ~ and More

Yes, it's been a while since I've blogged.  I think I said a while ago that lately when I get home I'm pretty tired of being glued to my desk/computer all day and have not been keen on going online.  Then there was this week.  All I'm going to say is I had a not good reaction to a medication that took me out of commission but I'm getting back into the swing of things.

I know I repeat myself but I want to be sure everyone knows this - snow is a four letter word!!!!!  And I have had ENOUGH of it for this winter - seriously.  Along with being down for the count this week we/Iowa/the Midwest dealt with one storm that came in two waves.  The second wave left drifts in my driveway as high as my waist (or higher).  Thankfully I got most of the driveway done before today (during my medicine issue, boy was that fun....not) so that when the sun came out today what snow was left on the driveway melted.  BUT....I didn't quite make it to the retaining wall on the north side of the driveway Thursday, so I spent some time today knocking down snow to expose the retaining wall and then tossing the snow higher than the retaining wall onto the lawn.  I definitely feel it in my neck.

Got a little surprise on my checking account statement today - my monthly mortgage payment (PITI) went up $141 without any notification.  My payment is an automatic "pull" from my checking account.  Needless-to-say I think I'm going to start looking to refinance and see if I can get a better interest rate since they are so low - wish me luck.  Looking at my mortgage account online the increase is due to my escrow account but still - why did it increase so much without any notification?  I won't say what financial institution holds my mortgage but its initials are B.O.A. and it's larger than my employer.

On to the baby gate saga and Butler's Speedo.  I think it was last week Thursday I came home from work and Speedo was on and wet - and there was pee on the living room floor.  Great.  I came home Friday, Speedo was on and wet - there was pee on the living room floor - and I realized something about Butler.  Butler had figured out how to get his Speedo past his "who ha" as Jeff Foxworthy calls it.  Let's just leave it as Butler has figured out how to "free Willy".  I was not pleased, so I figured I'll fix him - I'll duct tape his Speedo around him, "that'll teach him".  More to come on that. 

So here's how the baby gate was secured for a couple of days and it worked wonderfully.  I believe it was last Friday that Butler got past the gate and trash can to meet me in the kitchen when I got home from work - nice.  Or maybe it was last Sunday when I got home from church......

So today when I started feeling like a human again and thought I'd actually go somewhere besides my driveway to shovel snow or my doctor's office this week - I thought the dining room chairs would help reinforce the baby gate.  Like the upholstery pattern on the chairs :)  Mike did it to go with our black and white theme in our eating area.  And if you look really, really close at Butler and see something "shining" on the front part of his Speedo - that's the duct tape.

I came home from running errands and knew by Butler's bark he was in the kitchen - wonderful.  Opened the kitchen door and there he was in all his glory but Willy was not free - yes.  Baby gate was in the living room, dining room chairs pushed aside but no pee on the floor anywhere.  Then it hit me - I've got to get that duct taped Speedo off Butler.  Let the games begin.  Imagine if you will a 49 year old woman and a 13-15 year old, skinny greyhound on an enclosed back porch going around in circles.  I finally get a good enough hold on Butler to stop him and try to find the end of the duct tape to pull it off.  Of course that doesn't work - why would it.  So I start pulling on the tape and think, Butler's so skinny I'll just pull everything over his skinny, little behind.  Well that would have worked if he wouldn't have had those two boney hip bones sticking out.  So I had to go to the junk drawer in the kitchen for scissors and cut the duct tape, pull the Speedo off and shove Butler out the door in case there was anything left in there to add to the rest of the yellow snow in the backyard.

I talked to Mom tonight and we laughed about the duct tape.  I told her I was going to give it another try tomorrow when I ran errands but I would leave a little edge to fold under so I had something to grab on to, to try to rip the duct tape back to pull it off.  Wish me luck......