Planting and Demolition

Mike's Celebration of Life service was on a Friday last year but the date was a year ago today - which would also have been my sister-in-law and Ron's wedding anniversary.  Ron was Mike's brother, the middle of the three boys - and Ron passed the summer of 2006 which was the year Mike had his kidney surgery.  Also the good family friend (my Big Bro) that passed 3/1 that Mom, Dad and I went to his funeral in Kansas City, his birthday would have been last Thursday - so I've been thinking about two special ladies these past few days.

I had set the alarm Friday for 2:45 a.m. to be ready for the Royal Wedding and then found out the actual wedding wasn't until 5:00 a.m. - so I reset the clock for 4:30 a.m. but left the tv on.  Loud cheering woke me about 4:25 a.m. when William and Harry were in their car on the way to the Abbey which was perfect timing and I was up until after the first (and second) official kiss on the balcony.

Dad got here sometime after 8:00 a.m. and I drug myself back out of bed.  He had brought a hibiscus plant and a butterfly bush to plant in the backyard - and we got to talking about maybe getting a couple more hibiscus plants.  We found my hoe in the garage to have it handy for Dad to take care of any and all snakes he might find while in either yard and took it to the back yard.  I wanted to show Dad the area where the snake lunged at me Sunday and there she was in all her glory, stretched out sunning herself.  Dad got the hoe - I ran into the house to double bag a couple of plastic bags and brought them back to Dad - and ran back into the house.  I finally looked out and Dad was tying the bags closed - one snake down and it was the BIG snake.  I'm like, "it was a pretty big snake wasn't it Dad?"  He's looking at me and I finally say, "it really wasn't that big was it, but it was kind of long as far as I was concerned."  :)

Off to Home Depot and Lowe's we went to check out hibiscus and we were disappointed in what they had.  I said let's head to Earl May just to see what they have thinking their plants would be more expensive.  And I had hoped for a yellow hibiscus.  Well what was right next to the parking spot I parked in at Earl May but the cart of hibiscus plants that had a yellow plant and they were cheaper than both Home Depot and Lowe's.  We bought three plants - check out the pix below.

We planted the hibiscus between the drawf lilac bushes.  The lilac bushes did bud but they didn't bloom this year - I'm thinking (along with those I've talked to) that they didn't bloom because this is the first year since they were planted.  Next year they should bloom.

Yellow and pink.

This one will be red.

Dad and I are planning on putting garden felt down between all the hibiscus and lilac bushes along with river rock so I won't have to deal with weeds in this area.

This is the hibiscus plant Dad brought up - the little white speck in the dirt in front of the house.  We call this plant "The Stick".  I paid $9.99 for the Earl May hibiscus plants - Dad said he paid somewhere between $9-$12 for The Stick.  The Stick will be a red hibiscus and we laugh and say it will probably be the best plant of all four - we hope :)

This is the butterfly bush Dad brought up - and it will be red too.

We got a wild hair last evening to clean out the mess in this planter in the back yard and made our second trip to Home Depot for plants - and the wind was blowing like you wouldn't believe.  This is the front of the planter.

This is a shot from the back of the planter.  The blue will be more ground cover and the flowers are daisies.  The daisies should be in partial shade - which this isn't - so we'll see how they do.

And Dad wanted to make the Indian burial ground more secure from Butler so now I call it the cattle shoot.

This morning we woke up and drove over to The Well (aka Blue Building) at my church.  They were going to be doing some work today so I wanted to show Dad the building and introduce him to the guys that were there working - then back home to attack the enclosed front porch.

Demolition as officially begun.  We scraped all walls but one - we moved things by one wall and we couldn't get to it to scrape and we got all the icky tile up off the windowsills!  I also threw away several things that had been on the porch for quite a while - there are still a few things that need to be tossed.  I told Dad I would bring the shop vac up from the basement tomorrow and maybe clean up the paint flakes by the front door and vacuum the porch better Monday or Tuesday.  I realized today I'm not too thrilled to scrape paint - oh well.

As I took a trash bag of broken up tile and paint flakes to the trash bin I cleaned out the large planter that is on the landing on the steps going to the front porch.  As Dad and I were eating lunch we talked about getting one more plant and we needed to run to WalMart so we looked at the plants there - nothing I liked that would be in partial shade.  So guess where we went - you only get one guess.  Home Depot for the THIRD time in two days.  See the picture below to what we planted.

After planting these Dad rested for a little bit and then loaded up the car and headed back to Pella and I headed upstairs to crash.  It was a little warm upstairs so Butler got to wear his Cooling Bandana for the first time and I think it really helped him stay cool - thanks Nicki and Olav for getting this for him.  Nicki and Olav are my cousin's dogs :)

I've been looking forward all week for Saturday night racing and Channel 17/Fox is having issues with DirecTV.  I'm watching a blue screen with "no need to call us" on it - so I'm listening to the race on the radio.  That's ok - but they have been having lots of wrecks and some sound fairly big - wish I could have seen them.  Oh well....



No Lights ~ Royal Wedding

Yesterday was a GOOD day!  Thank you everyone who emailed me and/or posted something on my Facebook wall.  The weather was so/so but as the afternoon went on the sun sort of started to shine.  Butler and I messed around during the morning and then a good friend from my old job stopped over at 1:30 to pick me up and off to Culver's we went for a long lunch to catch up on things.  We then headed to Raccoon River Park so I could show her Mike's bench where we sat a while and then walked through the playground.  Back to my house so she could meet Butler and see him in his shoes - and my tattoo.  Her comments were, "it's big, it's pretty, I like it and did it hurt?"  :)  I then headed to my small group which was awesome from support wanting to know how my day went to what we are studying.

As I turned off 63rd Street onto Ashworth Road on my way home from small group - all the street lights went out which was kind of "interesting".  It wasn't until I got to 4th Street to realize it wasn't just the street lights - it was all the electricity - period - for as far as the eye could see.  And it was dark.  As I approached the corner of 4th and Grand I wondered how the two cars on Grand would react and one just went on through the intersection like nothing was wrong, the other did sort of stop and then continue on.  I'm slowly driving on down 4th to my house and it's eerie - no other cars out - no lights anywhere - it's like I'm the only person in the world.

I back into my driveway like I always do (which was a horrid job when I got into the car this morning and could see how crooked the car was in the driveway).  For fun I had downloaded a flashlight application on my Droid and boy was I glad I had it last night.  And it's a pretty bright light - so there I go from the car up the steps to the front door into the house.  Then the small light guides Butler and me to the back door so he can go outside for the last time last night.  Then up the stairs to my bedroom to go beddie-bye.  Once I got upstairs I grabbed the two flashlights I keep by the bed for when the power goes out - turned them on and the batteries were really low - my flashlight app on the phone was brighter than the actual flashlights - note to self to buy batteries this weekend.  I had hoped to read a little before going to bed - not last night.  I turned my bedside lamp on so I'd know when the electricity came on (at around 11:15 p.m.) so I could set my alarm for this morning.

The interview I had this morning went really well.  The lady won't be making any decisions for a week or so.  I also have another interview Monday morning in Waukee.  We'll see - God knows what's best for me and what I need financially.

This afternoon another good friend picked me up to do lunch and we hit The Tavern in Valley Junction.  We had a nice time chatting and then back to my place so she could meet Butler and visit a little more.

Now.............how many of you will be getting up tomorrow at 3:00 a.m. (Iowa time) to watch the Royal Wedding live?  I'm still thinking about it.  I did it 30 years ago for Di and Charles since Diana and I were both born in '61.  I'm more interested in Kate's dress than anything else because I thought Diana's dress was u-g-l-y.  Dad will be getting here around 8:00 a.m. to work on the enclosed front porch (scraping paint and other things) so if I watch the wedding I'm not sure how "perky" I'll be at 8:00.

I've also emailed Dad that he has my permission to kill any and all snakes he finds in the front and back yards while he's here Friday and Saturday.  All he must do after killing them is to place all snake parts into plastic bags and make sure the bags are securely closed and then place them in my trash bin.  I told him I encouraged him to take many breaks during the two days to look for snakes :)

A Year Later

I can't believe tomorrow will be a year since Mike died - A YEAR.  It just does not seem possible and when I take the time to really think about it, something cold grabs my heart for a minute.  I'm planning on having a good day tomorrow - I plan to wake up at peace and enjoy the day.  One of my friends I worked with at WF will be stopping by at 1:00 to pick me up and we'll do lunch, I'll show her Mike's bench and we'll hang out for a while.  Then I'll have my small group tomorrow night.  But right now I'm going to reflect a little on Mike and what this last year has been like.

Mike - he was my husband, my best friend and the love of my life.  We did just about everything together.  If he played golf on Saturday morning he'd play in the first or second group so he'd be back mid-morning to run our errands with me.  We'd even go to doctor appointments together if our schedule allowed.  We liked the same types of movies, sports and music.  And I was so lucky that Mike loved to dance - I can't imagine dancing with someone else.  Mike was brought up to treat a woman like a lady and he did that to me in aces.  Opening the car door for me wasn't a big deal, but he always opened building doors for me, made sure he was on the outside/traffic side of me when we were walking, would drop me off at doors in bad weather and park the car, help me with my coat, etc.  He took care of me.  We never referred to each other as my "old lady" or "old man" - we thought those were horrid descriptions to call your spouse.  And when we'd go out somewhere he'd tell me he was with the prettiest girl in the room - and even though I knew it wasn't true - I knew in his heart it was for him.

Mike was the bravest man I've ever known after his cancer reoccurred to keep working until his last two months - and even then he tried to work.  There were days he was in so much pain but he'd go to work and he didn't have a desk job - he was out in his City truck, each day, most of the day, in all weather, in all buildings and on top of buildings making sure things were working right.  And when he had to take his radiation treatments in September '10 he'd take them on his lunch hour and go back to work.

While I've said it many times, I miss Mike every day but I don't mourn him.  I know he's in Heaven and not in pain any longer - and I'll see him again someday.  And he can show me around and introduce me to lots of people he's met up there.

I received a letter from Hospice today letting me know they are thinking of me on the one year anniversary of Mike's death.  They wrote, "As you review the year, you may notice many ways you've grown, as well as challenges you are still trying to meet."  That says it pretty well - and I thought it was very nice of their Bereavement area to send a letter like this.

It's been quite a year from finding out our homeowner's insurance was only at 70% replacement value, to getting Mike's truck and motorcycle titles in my name, to learning how to run a snow blower - that was lot right there.  I also learned how to use a saws-all and kept all my fingers.

But I was blessed to sell my father-in-law's trailer in Ridgeway, MO so quickly and easily once I decided it was time to sell it.  The trailer wasn't much and neither is Ridgeway when it comes to being a hot bed for real estate.  God brought the right buyer my way at the right time.

Some of the biggies this year was the drama of what happened with my right hand - they never did figure out what I had only that it was contagious and ugly.

This started as a little red spot on a Friday afternoon before my birthday, by Monday it was one huge "blister" and on Wednesday one of the docs where I go opened it up to take all the dead skin off it.  It was an open sore for a while and then I got a rash as a reaction to one of the antibiotics I took for this thing - then reacted to the Prednisone I had to take for the rash.  Not a fun time.  And one night I looked at this hole in my hand and thought it might have been as large as the nail hole in Jesus' hand/wrist when He hung on the cross but my hole was only a few layers thick.  His hole went all the way through His hand - talk about bringing a point home to me - wow.  The hole healed nicely and if you look at my hand you can see a slight scar.

Then there were the snakes in the yard - mainly the back yard.  And the one time the owner of this skin aka the mother snake - ended up on the enclosed back porch.  I just don't like snakes but like I said to God last year as long as God lets me see them before I mow over them so I can get them to get out of my way I'm ok.  And I really don't mind when they are as thin as a pencil - it's when they get this size they gross me out and I was not pleased to see this skin in my back yard but I'd rather see the skin than the real thing.

And lastly was putting Milly down - eight months to the day Mike died.  It's never been easy to put any of our animals down and both of us have always been in the room with the cats or dogs - only this time I was in the room without Mike.  I knew I had to put Milly down but I didn't have Mike to talk to about it and I didn't have Mike to cry with after I came home.  That was really rough.

Yes it's been an interesting year especially now with me quitting my job - but I have two interviews in the next few days!  I'm continuing to find out I'm capable of doing lots of things I wouldn't have thought possible.  And while I'm not sure what the future holds - God knows and we're a partnership until the end.  God blessed me with giving me Mike and us 26 years together and He continues to bless me every day.

Emotions and Snakes (Blick, Blick, Blick)

First off if you noticed I've devoted the humor section of my blog to what "I Owe My Mother" to get it all in before Mother's Day.  These are all meant in good fun (actually I recognize one or two) and I hope everyone gets a good chuckle out of them.  I do owe my mother a lot.

And speaking of my mother (and father) they finally saw my tattoo when they were up last week.  It was like unveiling ..... I don't know what.  I think Mom said she thought it was pretty and Dad said it was bigger than he thought it would be.  They both seemed to like it which was good.  Mom did make the comment that it was colorful - not like an old Army or Navy tattoo men used to get that were just black :)  They have thousands of quizzes (and I'm not exaggerating) on Facebook that you can take and a friend took one about what tattoo would you be - so of course I took it.  And guess what it was - a hibiscus!  I just chuckled and then posted that it took me 25+ years to decide what I wanted for a tattoo, if only I could have taken this quiz I would have known in 30 seconds I should get a hibiscus :)

Yesterday was Easter and I was all set to go to church but didn't.  I'm not sure why.  Lots of things going on in my muddled brain.  Yesterday was 4/24 and last year that was the day Mike came home from the hospital - for the last time - that may have had something to do with it.  I may have felt guilty because Mike had said many times in the last few years that we needed to find a church home but I wouldn't pursue it - and maybe I didn't feel I had a "right" to go to the Easter service without him - I didn't feel "worthy" to attend.  I don't know.

One thing I've come to learn this past year is that emotions are definitely real, unexpected and at times uncontrollable.  It used to be easy for me to look at someone and think, "why don't they just get around and do such and such" not knowing the whole story of what was going on in their life.  Trust me, it's very easy to look at something from the outside and be "judgemental".  But until you've been there - you shouldn't be forceful with your opinions.  That's when patience and prayers are truly needed.  When people say things about someone that they should be doing such and such I don't keep quiet any more - I try to think how that person may be feeling and empathize with them and be more gentle in my words.  I'm no where near perfect but I'm trying.

I do feel bad but I had to work on the cow pasture yesterday due to the weather forecast I had been seeing.  I try very hard to do very little on the Lord's day but I had to mow yesterday - and I ran into Satan in the backyard in the form of a snake while I was picking up branches.  Thankfully she was laying coiled up in a low place of grass so she was easy to see - I had some places the grass was calf high on me.  I of course greeted her loudly and she decided to slither away but not very far.  And I am getting braver with dealing with the small snakes - so I picked up a large stick and poked at her :)  And she reared up like a Cobra, opened her mouth and lunged at me!!!!!!!!   Then flicked her tongue at me!!!!!!  I looked at her in shock and then thought, "oh no you didn't" and poked her back.  She reared up again, opened her mouth, lunged and flicked!  We did this 2-3 times and finally I decided to walk away but she kept her head up for quite a while.  And of course Butler was oblivious to everything, even as he walked really close by her - I was more afraid the snake might bite Butler.  And as the rearing was going on - I recalled Mike's story of how he saw one snake in the backyard that slithered toward him that he mowed up.  Then the sibling of the snake he chopped up got mad at Mike, reared it's head and charged the mower - and Mike proceeded to mow that snake up too.  I'm like, "ya Hon, I can honestly see that happening."

Anyway - the snake disappeared into one of the densed, highest grassy parts of the backyard - of course - so I mowed all around it first.  And I'm no dummy.  I had my bib overalls on to have long pants in the tall grass.  After seeing the snake I tucked my bibs into my socks so no stinking snake could slither up my leg inside my pants.  I don't care how stupid I looked I was prepared.  I finally got to "that section" and am like "God I don't want to see the snake and I don't want to mow her over either - you know I can't deal with snake parts in my lawn."  So bravely but cautiously I finished mowing and no snake!!!!!

I then took a little time to work an area right outside the back door that doesn't have any grass tossing grass seed and roping it off so Butler could stay out of it - see the photo below.

I call this area the Indian burial grounds and I'm not being racist since I'm 1/8 Native American.  And I'm recycling using some of the bigger branches from the backyard as the stakes.  I bring Butler outside to show him the roped off area so he doesn't walk into the ORANGE string and what does he do.........he walks under the rope right into the middle of the grass seed.  Sigh.  And yes, dogs only see in black and white McFall.  It only took him two times doing this to realize he shouldn't walk under the string......



One thing Mike and I loved (I still love) is how peaceful our backyard is - with the privacy fence and trees you don't know anyone is close when you sit back there.  Friends are welcome to share Saturday afternoons and nice evenings with me and Butler - you'll have to bring your own chairs though :)

Snake ~ First Mowing

I forgot to mention that I finally saw one - a snake last Sunday afternoon.  I let Butler out after I got home from church and there it was, lying as peaceful as can be on the sidewalk in the backyard getting some sun - until I walked over to it and yelled at it.  It was a baby snake and it slithered off to its hole.  Yippee.

I have no idea what happened to my neck mid-week but for two days I could barely turn to the left.  The first morning it was bothering me while I was in the shower I heard and felt a pop in my neck and it kind of loosened up so thought that was good - nope.  I don't know what popped but while I can finally turn my neck to the left almost as far as I can turn to the right (with only a little bit of pain) the middle of my left shoulder is still pretty tender.

Last night I ran errands so I wouldn't have to do them today and I was on a mission for a garden hose.  I had seen one in a catalog that was "curly" that would straighten out when you stretched it but would curl back on itself so it was easy to keep it orderly.  Mike basically left the hose laying all over the back patio - he wouldn't roll it up and unfortunately I followed that example last year.  I thought this type of hose might be easy to take care of.  Dad also found a flat hose in an easy holder that you could roll it up - at Menard's.  I had already bought the curly hose from WalMart yesterday but checked out the flat hose at Menard's thinking if I liked it better I'd return the other hose.  The only way I can describe the flat hose was remember the old "See and Say" toy that was a round plastic thing that you turned the thing in the middle to something and you pulled the string so it would "talk"?  Google it if you don't get what I'm saying.  The holder for the flat hose was like that and had a 10' leader hose you connected to the middle of the thing.  The part of the hose you connected to the faucet was where the hose extended from.  So you would take your 10' leader hose and the plastic case the flat hose stayed in and drag that behind you all over the yard with the other end of the hose coming out the other side of the plastic thing to extend the hose from the faucet.  I'm like who designed this stupid thing - I don't want to drag all this behind me.

Then last night on the WE channel (260 on DirecTV?) I found the Friday night Fraiser marathon!  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  That was one of the few shows that was truly funny.  One episode Niles thought he wanted to be a father so he carried a 10 pound bag of flour around with him as his "baby".  The "baby" ended up burnt and had bandaids on it and more.

Mom and Dad were up Wednesday and we talked about a new project I have - the enclosed front porch.  It's time to spruce it up which means scraping off the old paint, painting, putting some type of cheap carpet down and more.  Dad is getting kind of excited to help me with it.  I think we're going to go with an exterior paint that has paint and primer all in one.  Not quite sure what we'll do on the windowsills were that old tile is breaking up but we'll think of something.

Had a surprise in the mail today - a cooling bandana for Butler from Drs. Foster and Smith.  I know I get spacey sometimes but I knew I hadn't ordered it and had no clue as to who had.  My cousin emailed me saying she forgot to let me know that Nicki and Olav (her dogs) ordered it for Butler so he wouldn't get too hot upstairs.  I told her Butler appreciated it.

It was suppose to be sunny today and it was for a short time then the sun hid and it got chilly but I decided I HAD to tackle the front yard at least.  I mowed - and struggled with raising the wheels of the lawn mower up a notch.  I actually bagged the lawn where the new sod was laid last summer since that grass was so long.  I sprayed and sprayed the cracks in the drive and places in the planters to kill weeds.  And ended up tossing grass seed in some bare spots - and figured that was enough for one day and I was cold so came inside.  I'll save the cow pasture for another day.

I'm looking forward to our Easter service at church tomorrow.  The little kids will be participating again - one group singing, another group reading scripture (maybe I'll be able to snap a photo or two with my phone).  There will be Easter lillies decorating the platform and more.  I asked if we would be having a sunrise service at Easter Lake (when the weather is nice we baptize there) but evidently the campers didn't appreciate it last year when the sunrise service was held (or something).  Bummer.  I remember the one time Dad has a sunrise service at Red Rock and it was really nice - and peaceful.

I hope everyone has a very wonderful Easter!

Roast and Shoes

I'm expanding my cooking and thought I'd buy a small roast this weekend at the grocery store for Sunday and Monday supper.  I'd cut the roast in half and freeze it if need be if the roast was too big for one week.  So Sunday after church I rush around to get the roast going before the race started - Talladega baby - three and four wide racing, don't want to miss a second.  I put the roast in for an hour and a half and then would check it.  An hour into the roasting I thought, "crap I didn't cover the roast when I put it in the oven like I normally do, oh well, too late now...................."  And proceeded to fall asleep during some of the race like I do most Sundays.  I am my father's child - Dad would fall asleep watching football games on Sunday afternoons when we lived in Urbandale.  But somehow I always wake up with 20-30 laps to go to see who wins the race.  Anyway....................the roast looked slightly done but I thought I'd try eating it that night and it was pretty good.

Monday I headed to that employment agency to meet with that recruiter I had some issues with to talk about a possible position - still waiting to hear back from that recruiter about that position.....................  My appointment was for 9:00 a.m. and that recruiter walked into the building at 9:00 a.m...................... right past me and said it would be a few minutes before he/she could meet.  Not the best start to our working relationship.

Over the weekend I was thinking about how Butler has issues with his two back legs - duh how many back legs should a dog have McFall?  Anyway I thought maybe if I bought him some doggie shoes that might help him get traction on the downstairs floors while I'm gone.  Traci - stop laughing :)  There are times I come home that for whatever reason he's down on the floor whining when I get home - and it breaks my heart to wonder how long he had been like that.  So I stop by Petco and of course they don't have one type of dog shoes but two - yippee.  I finally go to the checkout counter and talk to the cashier and we determine which style we think would be best to try - again keeping my receipt if things don't work out and I need to return the shoes.

I get home and put the shoes on Butler's back feet and decide to let him try them out.  I figure he's going to be like most dogs or cats that have something on their feet and either walk really funny or try to fling the shoes off his feet.  Nope - he's walking around like he's had shoes on his whole life.  So I decide (the Einstein that I am) that I'll let him wear them for a while to get used to them, but we'll go upstairs (on the carpeting).  Just getting up the stairs was major because the little velcro piece on the back of the shoes would get "caught" on the carpeting on some of the stairs and poor Butler couldn't raise his foot.  The bad mommy that I am just started laughing at him (quietly - but it was pretty funny).  Once we got upstairs the "bad shoes" came off.

I put his shoes on him this morning before leaving for yet again another Job Fair - but this one was not a reentry job fair that I had to note my Parole Officer's name - it was a "normal" job fair.  I got a couple of good leads at the job fair and I think Butler did fine with his shoes.

I don't know what the weather is like where you live but I'm ready to buy lumber to build an ark for Butler and me.  It has got to stop raining one of these days and my lawn dry out enough so I can finally mow it.

The Coldest Easter Egg Hunt In History?

Last night I kept hoping Mindy from LWF would send an email that the Easter Egg Hunt scheduled for this morning would be postponed until next Saturday - no email.  I got up this morning and before I headed to the southside of town I again hoped Mindy had sent an email - nope.  It was low 30's when I parked in the lot of the Well and w-i-n-d-y.  I could see my breath when I got out of the car!  The only thing I was concerned about were my feet and I had two pairs of socks on too.

The guys got the small heater up and running and made sure the jump house would inflate ok with the generator.  We had to be there at 8:00 a.m. this morning to be sure everything was setup in time by 10:00 when the hunt would begin.  Well, the first set of plastic eggs with candy inside were spread out in the designated area by 8:15ish and there was not much else to do.................until 10:00.

We did have some fun watching the HyVee catering van with the grill behind it get stuck in the grass trying to drive up the slight slope into the park.  I walked over to one of the guys from church and said, "I'm a girl and I even know to not try that.  Just park the van and grill down there on the street and let them grill from there so the grass doesn't get torn up."  But evidently once the grass started to get "messed up" by the van they might as well go ahead and set up the way they wanted to.

The other highlight was when the jump house took flight.  One minute I looked over and saw small children jumping inside it with glee and the next I hear yells and the jump house flies right by where some of us were standing - thankfully without small children inside.  Needless-to-say the jump house was not blown back up to be used.

LWF had a table with free cookies and small loaves of bread along with flyers for our upcoming Easter Service.  And when the 5 year olds and under were called to gather for the first flight of egg hunters I went over to get some pictures with my phone.  Shortly after that I decided I was frozen and headed back to my side of town to run to the grocery store and then home.

I watched some of the first half of the Bulls/Pacer's play off game but got irritated at the Bulls for how they were playing.  They have THE best record in the whole NBA this season and were behind.  I turned the game off during the second half but did check online to see the Bulls pulled it off to win the game.

Enjoy the Easter Egg Hunt photos :)

Not a typical mid-April day in Iowa.

The infamous jump house that took flight later in the morning.

Two LWF girls staying warm until the hunt started.

Crowd shot.

LWF table of free goodies!

5 year olds and younger lining up.

And the Easter Egg Hunt begins!

Iowa Weather

I posted on Facebook today that Iowa has THE dumbest weather!  Sunday it's in the 90's and I finally break down and turn the air conditioner on so Butler and I don't swelter upstairs and today it's barely 40 and I have the furnace running.  The wind is blowing like crazy and it's raining, raining, raining.  Twice when I let Butler out to go potty he just looked at me, turned around and went back toward the steps to go into the kitchen.  Can't say that I blame him but I told him that he couldn't go potty inside while I was gone, and thank goodness he didn't.

Last night as it was getting later and I was reading the wind made it sound like I was out somewhere isolated on the prairie in the middle of the worst blizzard in history with the wind howling and swirling around the house.  I just shook my head.

I FINALLY got my federal taxes e-filed and within moments was able to file my state taxes too.  Then I had to wait to make sure the e-filing was accepted.  By the time I went to bed last night I had not received a confirmation email that they had been accepted so I made myself a note to be sure to check on them today.  Well at 5:58 a.m. this morning I received a text message that my federal taxes had been accepted by the IRS - 5:58 A.M.!  The text message for my state acceptance by the IRS came at a more sane hour of 9:00 something.

My backyard looks like a cow pasture and the front yard is looking a little ratty too.  Sometimes I'm......lazy and picking up the branches in the backyard has not been high on my list.  Well sometimes being lazy has its benefit because if I would have picked them up Wednesday like I had planned on doing - I'd be picking them up again from what came down last night - before I'd be able to mow.  Sure I could use the exercise but why go over the yard twice when I can pick all the branches up at one time :)

On a bright note I have a phone interview Monday afternoon for a company in Waukee that sounds very interesting.  The interview will only last 15 minutes and I have no idea the salary - sometimes that's noted on the job posting on CareerBuilder.com but it wasn't for this position.  Who knows - only God does at this point.  I also did follow up a few moments ago with another employment agency I worked with 2-3 years ago letting the owner know that I STILL had not heard from the recruiter that handles Administrative positions - I was to have heard from the recruiter over three weeks ago.  I immediately got an email back from the owner with a cc to the recruiter that he/she would be calling me right away and low and behold guess what happened?  My phone rang and the caller ID was that employment agency - imagine that.  Guess where I'll be at 9:00 a.m. Monday morning talking about a position?  And I could tell that recruiter is NOT happy with me but tough noogies.  He/she claims they left me a voicemail about another position I've been bugging them about and I told him/her that I did not have a voicemail from their company.  I can prove I never received a call from this employment agency from the call log on my phone (I didn't say that to the recruiter).  All I said in my email this afternoon was that I still hadn't heard from so-and-so and was wondering if the such-and-such position was still open because it was still on their web site.

Tomorrow if the weather allows LWF is helping with an Easter Egg Hunt across the street from the Well (what I used to call the Blue Building).  I still haven't figured out why the hunt is tomorrow when Easter is not this Sunday - but then again I don't understand why taxes have always been due April 15th (unless the 15th falls on a weekend) that we have until April 18th to file them this year.......................

Pet Memorial ~ Taxes (Blick)

I looked at my legs yesterday and realized I may actually be getting a little color - and I about fell over.  This is a first for me.  I'm hopeful I won't actually blind people when I wear dresses or skirts now.  And I decided I probably better start using it on my arms a little so I look "even".  I can't have some color on my legs and my arms be white.  One of my friends reminded me to go easy on the knees when putting the lotion on.  I thanked her for the reminder, I did know this but had forgotten.  That would be about my luck - the tanner would only work on my knees...................

Tuesday I walked down to the Hospice Pet Memorial service and it was nice.  It was the first one they had ever held and there weren't many people there but that didn't matter.  The gentleman that owns the pet cemetary in town was there and let's just say he's an "interesting" man.  One of the ladies with Hospice read "The Rainbow Bridge" which of course had me in tears - if you've never read this Google it.  Then if you happen to remember our dog Lucy (before the greys) - picture Lucy as the dog at the bridge seeing Mike after he passed - wow.  Then...........the lady said there was a video of the Rainbow Bridge.  Good grief.  I can't read that poem without bawling there is NO way I could watch the video..............  The other lady read a nice poem about cats, then each of us got up to share about a pet and light a candle - they were electric candles.  And you know me - when it was my turn to get up to talk about Milly there were more tears than words I think.  But in all fairness to me, my loss was the most recent and I mentioned how Milly was put down eight months to the day Mike passed, etc.  Everyone else remembered pets that died several years ago.  After the service some of us stayed to chat and eat brownies.  It was fun sharing stories about our pets that had passed and our current pets.  The two ladies from Hospice also invited me to attend the monthly support meeting that is on the fourth Monday of each month - I never did go to the meetings but I might start attending.

Today I'm meeting with another employment agency I worked with 2-3 years ago to see if they can help with my job search.  I've also made phone calls with another agency the past two mornings and am waiting to hear back from them, along with doing my normal internet search.

I also need to get serious about my email account.  I can either stay with MSN - which is breaking away from Qwest - and pay a separate fee to MSN or I can stay with Qwest and have a q.com email address.  I decided since I may have to change my email anyway I'll check some other providers out (Mediacom, Windstream, etc.) to see what kind of deal I can get for internet and tv.  I'll keep my cell phone with Qwest.  But what a pain...................................  all the email folders I've made...................all the favorites I've bookmarked............................................grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

And to top it off I MUST finish my taxes!  All I have to do for my federal is hit the button to e-file and I'm done.  That's it.  Maybe this afternoon.  And after I do that I'll see if my state taxes can't get computed really quick too.  I hate doing taxes - and I'm doing them online so they are easier than doing them by hand like I've done every year until last year.  I am such a slug when it comes to taxes.  Oh well, I remember one year Mike and I actually drove to the main Post Office in downtown Des Moines on 4/15 at 11:00 p.m. to hand off our taxes to be sure they were postmarked 4/15...............................  :)

Getting A Little Hazy In Here

The tat is coming along nicely.  It never did scab like I was told it would - and it never did itch.  Sunday it started to peel a thin layer like a sunburn and yesterday I continued to peel more of it off.  The hibiscus lost some of its vibrancy of color which kind of bummed me but that's ok.  And this will seem weird but maybe if you have a tattoo it will make sense to you.  Now that I've lost a layer of skin when I look at my tat I'm like, "I really have a tattoo and it's more than on the surface, it's in me".  I know....weird but that's me :)

Butler was running low on dog food but I didn't want the hassle of running to Sam's Club on Saturday for two 40 pound bags of dog food so I thought I'd get him dog food at the grocery store.  Saturday night he took quite a while to eat all his food (the old stuff) even with parmesan cheese on it.  Then Sunday he piddled around eating his food.  Yesterday when he didn't eat much of his "breakfast" I thought that was it - time to break out the new bag of dog food even though there was still some of the old food left.  Butler follows me everywhere so I let him follow me downstairs where the big bin of dog food is kept.  I put it on the floor and dumped the new bag of food in the bin and boy was he a happy camper.  I think all I saw was ears as he dove into the bin to eat, eat, eat.  I let him go at it as I went outside to bring the trash barrel back from the street and then told him he'd had enough.  Let's just say he ate his supper last night and breakfast this morning just fine with the new food.

Sunday I baked some chicken breasts to have for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night supper.  The last time I did Papa Murphy cinnamon pizza it overflowed onto the bottom of the oven like it always does but I didn't think much about it.  Well..............I go to preheat the oven for the chicken and open the oven door to put the chicken in and out comes a haze, something was "cooking" on the bottom of the oven.  I thought "crap, I can't clean it now the oven is hot and I want to bake my chicken - I'll clean the oven later - how bad could it get?"  Ya right.

Because it was pretty warm Sunday (90???) Butler and I spent some of the afternoon on the main level where it was cooler while the chicken was baking.  I walked back into the kitchen and it was hazy - its happened before so I opened the kitchen window and turned on the stove's fan thinking that would take care of it like it had in the past when Mike had that problem.  Ya right.  Even without my glasses on as I was sitting in the living room reading I could tell it was getting hazy in the living room.  Not as bad as a London fog moving in but it might have gotten that bad.  I opened the front door to get cross ventilation going and eventually the haze cleared.  I'm thankful my smoke detector didn't go off.

I put Butler on his leash, took one of the dog pillows in the living room and we sat down on the top step by the front door to enjoy being outside Sunday afternoon.  I got the biggest kick out of watching Butler watch all the cars go by and how his nose was checking out all the scents in the neighborhood.

I'm trying to not get discouraged with the job hunt but I'm not getting any hits on anything I've applied for.  I keep telling myself God has a plan and He sees the big picture.

Today Hospice of Central Iowa is having a Pet Memorial Service that I'm thinking of going to for Milly.  I've never gone to their quarterly memorial service for loved ones that have passed so I have no idea what this will be like but it's a nice day and I can walk down to their building.

Cadbury Eggs

I'm still faithfully taking care of my tattoo and each time I step into the shower I still want to scream "Mommy!" when the water hits it the first few seconds.......................but it looks really nice.  Today was fairy nice so I wore sweat pant capris and a long sleeve t-shirt today and when I clicked my seat belt into place I realized it set right over my tattoo too - but that was ok.

I did my normal Saturday errands and while in Walgreens I saw Cadbury Eggs on sale and had to buy four of them.  Mike and I used to love eating them - when they used to be $0.25 each.  Now they are like $0.80 each so when I saw they were $0.39 each I bought some.  Mike liked to put his in the little frig we used to have upstairs in our bedroom so they would be harder.  Me, I liked them to be softer - not melty - just soft.

The reason I was at Walgreens was to once again subject myself to the frustration of buying yet another brand of self-tanning lotion so my legs don't blind people when I go hoseless, which I may be doing tomorrow for church.  I swear I have tried 2-3-4 different brands of those lotions (Jergens, Vaseline, etc.) and they don't work on me.  Today instead of buying the one for fair to medium skin I went for the big guns - medium to dark.  I figured it couldn't hurt.  The lady in the cosmetic area popped over to ask if I needed help so I talked to her and she looked at me, saw which one I had (medium to dark) and looked back at me.  I explained how the lotions hadn't worked in the past so I was trying the darker one.

It got warm upstairs again so Butler and I headed downstairs for a while this afternoon.  We're back upstairs now watching NASCAR (Saturday night racing) with the floor fan on high.  I've also started wetting a towel and putting it on Butler when we're upstairs and it's warm to help keep him cool.  The challenge is to keep the towel on him.......................

Tattoo Day 2

I so totally forgot to share what my devotions were about yesterday morning - it was late last night when I blogged and I was a little stoked about my tattoo :)  Anyway.......the title for my devotions yesterday was Sorrow Not!  I had peeked ahead a couple of days prior just to see what the title would be and about fell off the bed (that's where I do all my reading so Butler can lay next to me).  I bought this Kenneth and Gloria Copeland daily devotion book several years ago and never used it until this year - I was amazed (actually I really wasn't) at how this was the title for yesterday.  I'm curious to see what the title is for 4/27 which will be one year since Mike passed but I won't look ahead - yet.

I don't remember if I mentioned how much the warm wash hurt last night but I had slightly hoped this morning it wouldn't be so bad - nope.  For those first few seconds when the warm water hits my tattoo I just want to scream "Mommy!" at the top of my lungs but I grit my teeth and then it's all better and actually feels good.  My leg is a little touchy today and I have no idea how long that will last - live and learn.

Lori took some pictures during the experience last night which I uploaded to Walgreen's photo and made a photo collage so I could pick it up today.  I was also going to run by a previous employer to show off my tattoo to the gals there that wanted to see it, so I had a little time to kill this morning before the photo collage would be ready so I sent off more online resume/applications.

I had to get Butler to go downstairs so I could let him out before running my errands and I stopped myself just in time before I did something really bad.  Normally when I go downstairs I blade myself so my right side is facing Butler (who is still upstairs) and I slap my upper, right leg several times to get his attention and say, "Come on Butler" or something to that effect to get him moving.  Don't want to be slapping my upper, right leg for quite a while...................................

Stopped at an old employer to show off my tat - I was wearing loose shorts so I could roll up the leg - and all the ladies loved it.  I asked 3-4 guys if they wanted to see my tattoo and they all said, "NO!".  Chickens :)  But one guy did come back to see it and about had a cow.

Off I head to Walgreen's to get my photo collage and a couple of other things.  I get my other things and head to the Photo Center and get in line.  When it's finally my turn the gal behind the counter looks at me and asks if I have a return.  I look at her and say no.  She looks at me, I look at her.  I can't remember if she asks anything else but I finally end up saying I have a photo collage to pick up.  All the time I'm thinking, "I'm at the Photo Center what else would I want to get here but photos of some type?"  Those experiences just make me want to shake my head.

Read a friend's blog that lives in WY that they received a box of 25 one day old chicks from Iowa today.  I had to give her a hard time as to why they had to get chicks from Iowa (both she and her hubby used to live here) and then I mentioned remembering the classic "I Love Lucy" episode with all the baby chicks running loose in the farm house :)

A Great Day To Get A Tattoo :)

Last night before going to sleep I had a good prayer time thanking God for 26 great years with Mike and more.  Then an old hymn came to mind - I think this is the title "Peace Peace Wonderful Peace" - started going through my head until I fell asleep.  And this morning I woke up with peace which I wrote on my wall on Facebook.

I had 2-3 errands to run and then I headed to Raccoon River Park to spend some time on Mike's bench to enjoy the beautiful day and experience nature.  Sometime last fall WDM Parks and Rec planted a tree by Mike's bench.  Melanie who works at the Nature Lodge stopped by while I was sitting out there and told me it was a Red Maple.  I'm going to enjoy watching the tree grow and give shade to the bench.



I came home and worked on my Federal taxes and think I have them figured out.  I'm waiting to hear from my friend Lori's hubby to make sure I did one section correctly before I e-file them.  I hate doing taxes.  The rest of the afternoon Butler and I took it easy.

All of a sudden around 4:00ish I started getting butterflies in my stomach - bad.  I'm like great, just what I need before I get my tattoo tonight but after eating supper they went away.  A friend texted me to advise I take Advil before I headed out to the tattoo parlor - which I thanked her greatly because I wouldn't have thought to do that.  And.....I'll take some more before going to bed.

My three friends from Wells Fargo that were going to be with me tonight had things come up so my best bud since 7th grade, Lori, was able to go with me.  She thought it would be "interesting".  I of course got to Mid Air and Ink a little early so by the time I completed my permission form, Lori arrived and Dave was ready for me to come on back.  I realized as I was reading the permission/authorization form that I had started to chomp my gum very hard.........................

Off to Dave's work area we go where Dave and I had some final thoughts/discussions about how the tattoo would look then he drew it out as a rough on my leg.

The initials are for Roni and Mike but if by chance some day - if God sends a super, duper guy my way - I'll tell him the initials are for me/Roni McFall.  Dave told me I could NOT look at the tattoo while he was doing it.  I asked if he'd ever had anyone faint before getting a tattoo - I think he said yes (wonderful).  I asked if he'd ever had anyone scream when he started doing the tattoo - no, he said people usually cursed loudly.  He told me I had to lie very still while he worked to which I started to laugh - and you know me - I of course laughed different times while he worked.

When Dave started he did the outline of the tattoo in black first.  Lori was watching intently and said there was some blood, nope it was the red ink from his marker, nope there really was some blood..........  :)

Lori's job was to take pictures during the process with my Droid cell phone.  I laid mostly on my side with my left leg under my right leg for stability.  I'll be honest, I'm not sure what I expected it to feel like when Dave was doing the tattoo - some type of horrific, sharp, extreme, intense pain but it wasn't.  It was more like scraping on my skin and I thought that would actually get a little annoying...............until Dave worked over a nerve. Yow - that smarted pretty good.

I'm giving a thumb's up.  Such a flattering angle...........................

Another shot of the work in process.  Dave periodically would change the towel that was rolled into my shorts and when he would do that I'd have Lori give me my Coke so I could get a drink :)

And here's Tattoo Dave, a really nice guy.  I would highly recommend him to anyone wanting to get a tattoo.  The only thing to keep in mind - it's a tattoo parlor and the music is LOUD and the language isn't always the cleanest.



And here's the finished project, right after it was finished with bumped up skin and all.  The initials are in purple.  Dave asked if I liked light blue and I said yes - he said he wanted to add some blue to help make the tattoo stand out so I said ok.  This picture does not do my tattoo justice - it is so much better seeing it in person.  And I absolutely LOVE it!



Here's the photo that Dave worked from and I really, really like what he came up with.  I would definitely do this again.  Once I got used to the pain I either blocked it out or my skin was so numb I couldn't feel it :)  I came home and "showed" it to Butler, he was just thrilled.......................  But he did actually come up to me as I was sitting on the bed blogging and touched the tattoo with his nose and that was slightly painful :)  I need to give the tattoo warm washes two times a day for a few days.  Starting tomorrow morning I put A&D ointment on after each wash, then Sunday I put Lubriderm unscented lotion on it for two weeks.  And somewhere during all this my tattoo will scab over and come off - Dave told me not to get worried when I started to lose color - that's just part of the process.

While today was my unanniversary (for lack of a better term), I again realized how many friends and family members were thinking of me and saying prayers for me.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

My First Unanniversary

I'm blogging about this tonight because I have no idea what tomorrow will bring and if I'll even go online.  I have a positive attitude right now about tomorrow but all that can change in the blink of an eye.  Tomorrow would have been our 27th wedding anniversary and deep down I really wish Mike was here so we could celebrate it but like I've said before - if I had to choose between having Mike with his cancer and pain or Mike being in Heaven pain free - I want Mike in Heaven pain free.

And like I've said before, I knew Mike and I wouldn't grow old together because of our age difference but I had thought I'd be in my 60's and Mike in his 80's before one of us would be gone - I never imagined I'd be a widow at 48.  And tomorrow will be my last "first" without Mike and again - like I've mentioned before - in my opinion this is the biggest of my "first's"...............................

It's still a "go" for my tattoo tomorrow night.  Mom and Dad were in town today for a doctor's appointment of Mom's so after lunch I drove them by "Tattoo Dave's" so they could see where I'll be going tomorrow night.  I have no idea how much pain there will be but it's something I want to do - because it's something Mike and I had wanted to do.  So while the tat is in memory of him - I'm doing it for both of us.

I don't know how many of you watch "Dancing With The Stars" but last night was story night and I could not believe how many tears I cried.  And of all people it started with Chris Jericho who is a WWE wrestler - of all people.  His dance was in memory of his mother who had passed away.  Then Romeo's dance was in memory of his two cousins who had died and the song was "I'll Be There" - which got to me.  And then Ralph Macchio (sp?) who is my favorite star this season danced a song for his wife in honor of their 24th wedding anniversary which is today.  I have no idea how many kleenexes I went through last night :)

After DWTS I turned to the NCAA Finals to see if Butler would beat UConn - I was for Butler for obvious reason - but alas Butler could not hit the broad side of a barn in the second half and UConn won.

And speaking of Butler, he's pretty much back to his old self.  He jumped on the bed this morning - something he hadn't done on his own since Sunday when he got so hot upstairs.  Mom, Dad and I talked about Butler today and I told them that I honestly don't know if I'll be able to put Butler down when the time comes because it will honestly rip my heart in two for several reasons.  Mainly because Butler is such an awesome dog that has been there so many times for me and Mike during the years.  And when Butler goes - it will be like the final "end" of Mike and me (at least in my mind) and that will really hurt.  Lastly when Butler goes, that will be the first time since we bought this house in '85 that there won't be a pet in it.  When we moved in, Babe the cat moved in with us and there has always been at least one animal in this house.  So like we talked today we truly hope that Butler passes in his sleep.

DWTS results in coming on so I've got to see how Maks is doing from his fall last night....................

Butler ~ Backyard ~ Videos

Saturday was a stupendous spring day.  It was the type of spring day that the weather was perfect, not much wind and you were glad to be alive.  A day like that always makes me think of Central College and walking through Peace Mall by Gaass Hall (when it was a boys only dorm).  ALL the windows of Gaass Hall would be open and stereos would be BLASTING music - on a day like that at Central you knew spring had arrived.

After I did my normal Saturday morning errands I decided Butler and I would spend a little time outside in the backyard picking up branches - ok I picked up the branches and Butler supervised.  I filled a lawn bag to the max with branches and put it curbside last night to be picked up today.  Well - with the wind and rain we had last night - when I looked out at the backyard this morning it didn't look like I had picked up any branches.  Oh well, exercise for me (bending down to pick up the branches).

Yesterday was a very warm day - in the high 80's here.  I didn't want to turn the air conditioner on in the house yet so I opened the upstairs windows and turned on the floor fan on high but it still got to 85 degrees upstairs during the afternoon.  When you sit in the fan you don't realize how warm it truly is up here but Butler could feel it and he started to have problems.  I moved us downstairs where it was a lot cooler for the rest of the NASCAR race to cool Butler down and it helped but he was not himself the rest of the evening.  And of course I worried (and cried) about him - and said a prayer or two.

This morning he didn't seem to be doing much better and didn't jump on the bed for my devotion time like he had been doing since I quit working - so I picked him up to put him next to me on the bed.  And he just laid there.  No head bumping to be pet or anything.  I had another tearful prayer with God asking Him to please help Butler feel better.  I know I won't have Butler forever but the thought of losing him now is almost too much for me.  Thankfully later on this morning Butler started to perk up and after doing his duty outside when I gave him a cheese cracker to eat he became "Jaws" and almost took my fingers off trying to get the cracker to eat it - a very good sign for me.

I don't know if these two links will work or not - if they don't - be sure to copy and paste them in your browser so you can check these videos out. 

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/ on it's home page you should see the video:  Dog Sees Mom Just Home From Afghanistan.  Another awesome reunion of a soldier and her dog.  The dog is old (check out how white Molly's face is) and turn up the volume to hear Molly's noises of happiness to see her Mom.

www.wimp.com/sheeplight is a hysterical video of what bored Irish sheep herders do with their time.

The last video I wasn't able to find the path to it, so I was only able to share it on my Facebook page of a cat drinking water in an "interesting" way.  Even if you don't like cats you'll laugh at this weird feline.

Time to search for jobs..........................

It's April - Wow

I'm not even sure if I've shared on my blog about my middle step (Casey) deploying to Afghanistan for a year with the Army - I've talked to people about it and posted something about it on Facebook.  Love Casey to death but sometimes you're not quite sure what's what, so I thought he had already left either the 30th or 31st but nope - last night I got a phone call from Casey - while he was at the Burger King at Ft. Drum (NY).  I'm like, "Casey, I thought you'd already left for Afghanistan."  He advised his flight left later last night so he was at Burger King to get supper - and had to tell me to wait "just a second" while he placed his order.  Typical Casey.  Anyway......I saw on Facebook that he is now in Ireland on a five hour layover.  When you think of our military, send a prayer out for Casey this next year for his safe return.

I finally went to see Tattoo Dave last night to talk about the design of my tattoo in memory of Mike.  I figured I'd go with a hibiscus but I wanted to show him my other idea too.

The hibiscus will have the coloring of this flower that was one of the hibiscus plants I raised one year.  Dave will put some green leaves around it to bring out even more color.



What I had kind of wanted to do was this with the little guy biting the one's ear being a white tiger cub instead of a white lion cub - and figured that would be "Mike" giving me a hard time.  And yes, those that know me so well - this is a photo from one of my many Siegfried and Roy calendars.  I think these two cubs are adorable but like I figured and others told me - and Dave confirmed last night - with this design the tat would have to be quite large and I'm not going to do large.

Finally I got the photo of Butler and his diaper to load to my blog - ain't that somethin' :)  He's worn it three times and the last time I came home to find pee and poo both on the floor with the diaper still on and NO poo in the diaper at all.  Now, I didn't think to check to see if Butler had "freed Willy" like he used to do with his Speedo to account for the pee on the floor because I'm like, "how in the world did the poo get outside the diaper through the hole by his tail without getting any poo on the diaper or making a mess on Butler?"  I honestly think Butler has beaten me on all of this.  I'm ready to "tap out" like they do in UFC.

Last night had a rough night.  I try to stay upbeat during the day - but the nights can be horrid.  The tears just flowed.  A couple of years ago while driving to my annual Girls Weekend with Jenni in the car - she was telling me about how her oldest sister had lost her husband - with me not having any idea that in a couple of years I would be in this same boat.  Jenni said she was amazed and happy to see how many friends her sister had for a support group at the funeral and all.  But her sister's pastor said something to Jenni that really made Jenni think - where are all the friends at night when she's at home by herself and trying to go to sleep?  Who holds her then when she's sad?  That is so true.  I know I'm not alone, that God is with me and He has sent His comforter but sometimes that just doesn't cut it when you ache because you are physically alone.

Yesterday I found a job opening somewhere that I've thought I would enjoy working so today I completed the application and hand delivered my paperwork.  Before I left I made Butler stand next to me to "agree" with me in prayer about this position.  It's all in God's hands.